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12/08/2010

Breakfast with Benefits

Story Submitted by Ariel:

Steve set up a lunch date with me for a Saturday.  The first thing he said was, "The first thing you should know about me is that I have a girlfriend."

His Internet profile had listed him as single.  I asked him to explain.

"All she does is bitch, so I'm looking for someone else."

I asked him, "Shouldn't you break up with her, first?"

He replied, "I'd rather cheat on her, then break up with her. That way I can tell her that I've cheated on her when I break up with her."

I said that I wasn't interested in helping him.  He pulled out a $100 bill.

"Would this change your mind?" he asked.

In a very public cafe, a man was offering to pay me for sexual favors.  That's one to cross off the list.  I politely refused him.

He pressed, "But what about for a kiss?"

I smiled and said, "More than you could afford."

He said, "Try me."

I threw out, "A thousand dollars."

"That's a lot," he said, and was silent in thought for a few moments.  Then, he said, "It would have to be open mouth, and for at least an hour."

I laughed.  The most surreal part of all was when we both decided to stay for breakfast and he picked up the tab.  Maybe he was just keeping his options open.  I didn't see him again after that.

3 comments:

Wow! That's crazy! What a total weirdo!!!! Geesh!!! So glad Ariel had the sense to walk away from the nuto!

He'll probably twist "I bought some girl brunch" into "I cheated on you with this girl" anyway. What an asshole. I hope his girlfriend finds someone better and that he gets the herp from whatever girl actually takes him up on his offer.

The fact that he actually considered $1000 reasonable for an hour of making out is pretty amazing actually. $20 at 1am at a bar could have net him a lot more than that.

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