12/23/2010

Be Careful Whom You Stalk

Story Submitted by Jeremy:

Shauna gave me a mix CD on our first date.  It was a very kind gesture, and I apologized to her for not bringing her something in kind.

For our second date, she gave me a handmade calendar complete with original artwork for every month of the year.  Very thoughtful and generous.

For our third date, she presented me with a series of photos of herself, a few of my house late at night, and one of my bedroom window.

"That's creepy," I said to her.

"It's creepy that I like you a whole lot?" she asked.

I said, "It's creepy that you're outside of my house, taking pictures late at night."

She said, "Fine.  I won't do it again."

That night, I waited on the side of my house with a scary mask and some takeout food.  A little after four in the morning, Shauna pulled up across the street, rolled down the window of her car, and snapped a picture of my house.

She climbed out of her car, closed the door gently, and stepped closer, snapping another picture.  She looked both ways, crossed the street, and snapped another.  Then she came closer.  Another picture.

I ran at her, brandishing a tree branch.  She screamed, jumped back into her car, and peeled away.

I didn't hear from her again.

8 comments:

  1. That was pretty fantastic.

    ...Why didn't you give her any homemade gifts in exchange though? Like a pillow made from her used underpants and the stuffing from her beloved childhood toy? She would have loved it.

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  2. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HAHHAHA.

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  3. I wonder if she has a special wall to put up all the pictures of the homes of guys she's creeped out? bet it looks like a set from Criminal Minds.

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  4. This is funny but I'm not sure I believe it. Just on the off chance she would disregard your wishes and come back, you sat outside your house until four in the morning? Either this is a story of what you wish you'd done, not what you actually did, or you yourself are sort of insanely persistent.

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  5. This is quite possibly my favorite story here; it made me laugh out loud! XD

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  6. For a second I was thinking you were going to throw the take-out food on her...

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