Story Submitted by Charlie:
Lisa, who I met online, had her heart set on a new restaurant in town for our first date. It was the place's opening weekend and when we made it there, having driven in separately, it was packed. The host informed us that it would easily be an hour and a half wait.
I turned to Lisa and said, "Should we try someplace else?"
She shook her head and said, "I can wait. I want to eat here. I can do some shopping in the meantime."
She led me to a nearby mall (walking distance). We walked past a clothing store and she said, "I'll meet you out here in a half-hour, okay?"
Before I could reply, she was on her way into the store.
I followed her in, as something didn't seem quite right. When she saw me, she asked, "What are you doing in here?"
I asked her if she could put shopping aside, as I wanted to spend time with her, as it was, after all, a date.
She said, "I won't be long. Promise. I've just been meaning to come here for weeks."
I couldn't dissuade her (though admittedly, I didn't try very hard). I was hungry, so I grabbed some ice cream from the food court, a newspaper, and sat on a bench near the store.
A little less than an hour later, I went into the store to find her, just in case they were going to call us in early at the restaurant. I walked up and down the aisles, and couldn't find Lisa anywhere.
My cell didn't have a signal, so I went outside and called her. No response. Her cell probably didn't have a signal in there, either. I guessed that she was in a dressing room. What a great date this was turning out to be.
I went back into the store and asked one of the clerks to call for Lisa in the dressing room. Sure enough, that's where she was. I told her that we should probably head back to the restaurant. She ended up not buying a thing ("It's way overpriced," she said) and we hightailed it back to the restaurant.
We didn't miss being called, thankfully, and after several minutes, we were called.
We sat in a booth and she bit her nails like mad. "Are you nervous?" I asked her.
In response, she opened up the menu, scanned the items, and flipped it over to face me.
"I want this," she pointed, "And this," and then she stood up. "I'll be right back."
She took off, in the direction of the entrance. Perhaps that was where the bathrooms were. Still, something didn't seem quite right.
When the waitress came by, I asked her if she would mind checking the bathroom for my date. The waitress was very nice and did it at once. She came back to report that there was no sign of Lisa. I had had enough of waiting at that point, and I ordered my food and what Lisa had wanted from the menu.
Our food had long since arrived by the time Lisa made it back, with a loaded shopping bag from that clothing store.
No apologies or explanations, of course, and the first thing out of her mouth?
"You started without me?"
I replied, "What does it matter? We're clearly not on a date."
She glanced at the bag and said, "It's just a little bit of shopping. What's your problem?"
I pointed to my food and said, "What's your problem with a little bit of eating?"
"It's rude," she said, and started in on her food.
I insisted that she pay for her meal. She muttered, "Jerk," under her breath, and as soon as we left, she booked it for her car. Good riddance.
Story Submitted by Charlie: