E-mail Submitted by Nicole:
I'm a fun-loving guy who likes finding creative ways to enjoy the finer things in life. A nice dinner, a ride in a great car, a show, a moonlit stroll, I can do them all, and I know great places for each. I'm like a one-stop fun shop!
You seem like you'd be a classic fit for a guy like me: you're beautiful, full-mouthed, and gorgeous. The fact that you like amusement parks and travel is good too. We'd be able to do a lot of that together.
I like long showers, being in dark places, and checking out scary things. Scary caves, scary people, and even scary things between the sheets, know what I mean ;).....
I know some guys in Hollywood. I think you could be a potential acress! Don't go putting all your hopes up, but if you play your cards right we can maybe go to Hollywood together, try some things out. I know men and women out there, and they're all beautiful, nubile people.
This is just a little taste...... if you'd want to suck down more, then there's plenty for you. Of course, if you choose to be an UGLY WHORE then there's nothing I can do for you.
Your choice.
Warmly,
Reggie
6 comments:
I've been on many dating sites, and I've talked to probably hundreds of weirdos online, and I have never ever been randomly asked to do porn. Maybe I should have posted better pictures?
All you need to do to know it's a great email is look to the end. If it says "Your choice", it's a winner.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
At first, I thought this guy was just shiesty. Then I thought that he was a creepster setting the OP up for A Bad Case of the Rapes. Then that last line....totally out of nowhere....that sealed the fuckin deal, man. I officially LOVE this email!
If you think this email is cringeworthy, wait until you see a middle-aged hipster-wannabe douchebag try to perform this exact same act in real life, at a bar in Laguna Beach, on every hot girl he can approach. It's both hilarious and deeply sad.
Wow.............
"You're purty, I like kinky sex, suck my dick. KTHXBAI"
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