Submitted by Stephen:
Last semester I was walking through the quad when I saw the hottest girl I had ever seen in my life. She looked like Megan Fox and Adriana Lima had blended all of their best parts together and intensified themselves by a thousand.
I would have killed myself if I didn't ask her out, so I ran up to her and asked her to dinner out of the blue. She seemed flattered, said that she was hungry right then and there, and knew a great place around the corner. I was on cloud nine.
On the way, she told me that her name was Chloe and she majored in general studies. I asked her exactly what a general studies major was and she replied, "Oh, it's for the people who aren't smart enough to go here but have rich parents who donate lots of money to the college." Okay, so she wasn't a genius, but she still seemed like a cool girl.
Chloe lead me into a restaurant with wall decor that probably cost more than my parents' house. We were seated immediately, and the prices on the menu almost made me vomit. Still, I really wanted to impress Chloe and not look like a cheapskate.
During the whole dinner, Chloe talked about how hot she was. She said that she was only in college because her father refused to pay for her modeling portfolio unless she got a degree. All that she wanted to do was, "model, booze it up with my besties, and date hot rich guys."
Right as the food came, she got a text from a girl who was apparently an, "ugly, jealous, hater bitch," and she spent a good 20 minutes texting back and forth with this girl. As I ate my tiny, overpriced meal, Chloe explained that this girl was jealous of Chloe's beauty and the fact that a bunch of guys had been hitting on Chloe at a club that weekend. The girl went on to say that Chloe could never make it as a model (in her defense, Chloe looked better than many models I've seen).
At that point, I had made up my mind that the date had been a bad idea. Before we parted ways, she asked if I wanted her number. When I said no, she totally flipped and starting screeching at me in this high pitched voice. I couldn't understand a word she said. I took off.
Lesson learned: date average girls.
Submitted by Stephen: