Submitted by Jennifer:
I didn't have much hope for online dating, but Paul came along and blew most of my expectations out of the water.
Admittedly, this wasn't a huge accomplishment, but I was still pretty pumped about meeting him. He seemed smart, relaxed, carefree, and was a good conversationalist. He went on a little much about his past relationships, but I figured that everyone has baggage and I shoudnt be too quick to judge.
We met up at an Italian restaurant. He didn't seem happy to see me at all. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me that it was nothing. Clearly, though, something was bothering him. He didn't smile, and had hardly the level of enthusiasm that he displayed online and over the phone.
I would guess that it had something to do with me (even though he assured me that it didn't) and I wasn't sure what the problem would be. My online photos were up-to-date and accurate. I had nothing to go on but his words, whch said that nothing was wrong. I decided to help him try to forget about whatever was bothering him.
He was barely communicative during dinner to the point of basically ignoring my questions. I didn't give up on trying to make conversation, but it was unbelievably difficult.
Finally, I asked him if he wanted to end the date early. He then said that he had several interview questions for me, and that we'd better get started.
I asked him what he meant by "interview questions," and he said that they were all really personal but that they were required for anyone who wanted to date him. I told him that I didn't feel like answering such questions.
He then slowly dipped his hand into his spaghetti and tomato sauce and clenched the food into his fist. I didn't say anything, and he made a weird sort of frown and wrung his hand out. I couldn't wait for this date to end.
24 comments:
Holy crap, what a weirdo!
LMFAO!
"If you don't answer these questions, the spaghetti gets it! Now, are you going to cooperate or do I need to move on to the meatballs?"
LOL what a freaking nut job...or should I say meatball?
Sono contento che lei ha scansato una pallottola, Signora!
Well, good thing he took it out on the pasta, and not you. What a freak.
Wow, just... wow.
Really, Nikki? We're going international with the "bullet dodging" comments?
@2:15 - That's called "keeping a running gag fresh." Reckonize. ;P
so what happened after that? Incomplete - F.
Picturing this scene in my head, it's just...incredible.
@Anon 5:37 PM - If I had to guess, what followed was: he took his pants off and started building a personal outhouse with furniture from the restaurant. Just a stab in the dark, if you will.
Nikki, you truely rock!
Also...
Questo è ciò che io chiamo una palla piccante a base di carne!
Squishing spaghetti in my hands makes me want to masturbate.
Nikki, that's just pathetic.
I was waiting for him to explode in a fit of spaghetti-flinging rage! I wonder if food strangulation is his normal way of coping? ...weird...
^Yeah, I definitely was waiting for this to devolve into a one-man food fight. :P Pity.
And @8:30 - What's pathetic?
HEY mambo. mambo italiano
I'd like to know what the questions would have been...
"Does it turn you on when a taciturn man threatens food?" "Have you ever been into 'sploshing'?"
Mmm, food fetishes... like 'figging'...
It just burns so good!
i was like "oh yeah this guy sounds like a dick" until the last paragraph when "dick" turned to... "wait... WTF?!" O.o
Hahaha. I think this guy was trying more and more to make the situation awkward. He should have peed himself, or asked you about sex with animals. That would've made it.
^^Have we had a date pee himself on this site yet? It feels like something that should have happened, but I can't think of any stories of the top of my head.
We had the girl crap out an organ and a couple of people vomit. But seriously...no pants wetters?
^ I've had a few dates pee on me, but they weren't bad dates. ;-)
Then I guess we're back to square one, 10:14. :(
^ *collective sigh*
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