Submitted by Mary:
Wayne was a chemist who took me out to a fancy meal one night this past winter. He told me that he was working on a new, organic type of hands-free sanitizer, and had plenty of samples on hand. He gave me a few. Thanks, Wayne.
We got on the subject of college, and he asked me if I had any "wild times." I told him that I had once participated in a sorority's topless march to raise awareness for breast cancer.
He spat out his food all over the place. "W-what?," he stammered, "You did what?"
I said, "It was to raise awareness for breast cancer. We carried candles one evening from one end of the campus to the other. I don't know if that counts as 'wild,' but it was a little daring, but I'm glad I did it. We raised over a thousand dollars for that one walk."
He stared at me, then down at my chest, then up at me again. "You were topless?" he asked, stupidly.
"Yes," I repeated.
"Did you have a boyfriend at the time?" he asked.
"Yes. He had no problem with it. Are you okay?"
He was silent for a few moments, then asked, "Can I see you topless tonight?"
Then it was my turn to expel all over the table. I didn't. I thought I heard him wrong. "Excuse me?" I asked.
"Can I see you topless tonight?"
I laughed and told him that it wasn't going to happen.
This made him mad. "You'd show a whole bunch of strangers your jugs while in a committed relationship, but you won't show them to me? What's the difference?"
I thought he was kidding around. He had to be. I laughed again, but when I saw that he wasn't laughing with me, I said, "You're not going to see them. Put it out of your head."
He sat back and muttered something that sounded like, "Slut," and continued on with the rest of the meal in relative silence.
After dinner, I told him that it was nice meeting him, and then went off home to go take off my shirt and go to bed.
In Maine this Friday? Busy?
Submitted by Mary: