Submitted By Nicole:
Larry and I had been talking over a dating website for several weeks. He seemed like a well-rounded guy who had his life together and someone I’d want to get to know better. If anything, a friendship could develop, and who knew? Perhaps more, if the chemistry was right.
We agreed to meet at a farmers' market at a local park for a short meet and greet.
We met each other (he looked just like his pic – so far so good), grabbed a coffee, and proceeded to a bench where we could talk and get to know each other better.
Out of the blue, he brought up the subject of not being able to drive because of a DUI and rambled on about how DUIs are so overrated and that such a strict law should be eliminated - probably because his count stood at three.
If this wasn’t enough to make the law-abiding citizen in me uncomfortable, he continued with his story of how this was not his first run in with the law and how he was under HOUSE ARREST. In case I didn’t believe it, he lifted his pant leg to show off his fancy ankle bracelet – let me tell you, it was QUITE impressive. Hmmm… alarm bells were sounding in my head.
Throughout this entire exchange, he would continually move closer to me, all the while poking and prodding me as if I were a science experiment… or a tasty treat he was about to consume. He'd constantly reach out and have to press his fingertip to every one of my beauty marks in his vision. A little personal space if you don’t mind!
My continual requests for him to stop touching me fell on deaf ears. He even went so far as to grab at my hands and ask if he could "pop off" my acrylic nails. Can you say "skeevies"?
As I sat there pondering my exit strategy, he complimented me on my sandals. Not content to just voice the compliment, he suddenly grabbed my sandal, foot, and all, and continued with the compliments. Errrm... just a bit CREEPY?
I pulled away from him and again asked that he stop touching me and told him that, no offense, but I didn't like a virtual stranger being so touchy with me. Not heeding of my complaints, he put his hands on my neck, began massaging me and told me I needed to loosen up.
At that point, I informed him that if he didn’t keep his hands to himself, I would let loose and get touchy with him – and NOT in a good way.
Only 20 minutes had passed since we met up in the park. This was nowhere close to turning out the way I had hoped.
As we sat there, my phone was hanging out of my pocket. He saw it and grabbed it and despite my incredulous protests he refused to give it back.
When I asked him what he thought he was doing, he replied, “Trying to unlock your phone. I want to see your naked photos.”
Excuse me? Sorry, I don’t do naked photos. Never have, never will. And if by the remotest chance I did, I’d never in a bajillion years leave them on my phone.
After wrestling my phone from him and still sitting on the bench next to each other, he commented on how good I smelled. I scooted away from him a bit, thinking, “Okay, he is trying to be complimentary.” He next asked me quite directly, “Can I smell you?”
“Errm…no. Just no.” Ignoring my denial, he leaned into my personal space and proceeded to take a HUGE sniff. Ugh. Really? This couldn't be real. I MUST have been on some sort of reality dating show where your friends set you up on the worst possible date. Right? Right? Unfortunately, no, this was the real deal.
By that point, I had had enough but I was trying to be polite and civil, while seriously wondering how fast I could run in sandals and if I could make it past the perimeter range of his ankle bracelet before he caught up to me and starting cutting me into pieces.
I told him that I had to get going and he offered to walk me to my car. I thanked him but declined. He persisted and managed to spoil even that bit of seemingly normal-ness he had shown by stating, “Don’t worry, I’m not going to do anything to you.”
Wowzer. Now I definitely had warm fuzzies. I managed to say goodbye and walked away without looking back, thinking, “Let’s just chalk this one up to experience.”
You would think this was the end of it. I had been polite, but I hadn’t played all girly and coy, sending him confusing signals or anything of the sort. There had been no chemistry, just a whole lot of total weirdness that I didn’t want to get involved with.
Once I got home, I found that he was trying to Facebook friend me. It was odd because the request was from a different name than what I knew his to be. When I asked about it he told me that "Larry" was his "industry" name.
I sent him a polite email stating that I wasn't interested in him in that way but I appreciated him taking the time to meet with me. He then offered to send me his naked photos – as if that would be the clincher to change my mind and close the deal. I politely declined and wished him good luck.
My worry was that if I didn’t make a “clean break” he would be angry at the rejection and try to hunt me down. From our conversations that day, he seemed to be the sort who didn’t take rejection very well. He replied to my e-mail saying, “Fair enough, I’m too much for you, I’m too wild, I understand.”
No response from me.
A second email 10 minutes later, “Seriously, wtf…I’m PHENOMENAL, most women would love to be with me.”
Again, I did not respond.
Another 10 minutes minutes passed, and yet another email was received: “I don’t know what’s wrong with you…” blah, blah, blah and signed the email “disturbed but tolerant."
Disturbed was right. Thankfully I haven’t heard from him since.
Good thing he didn't try to kill you. You might have stuck around with him all week.
Submitted By Nicole: