Submitted by Melissa:
Fred was an excitable, curly-haired guy from the Internet who asked me out on a date to a Japanese place. Nothing seemed to bring Fred down. We traded stories about past relationships. Mine seemed particularly ugly when compared to his, and he seemed to have had comparatively fewer romantic partners, but no big deal. Maybe he was just picky.
When he picked me up, we gave each other a hug and he passed me a white box. Inside was a blue kimono.
Unexpected and extremely generous, I thought. "Thank you..." I said, truly touched.
He said, "It's not for you to keep. It's to wear out tonight. To dinner."
I told him, "I... hmm... I'm not sure if I should wear a kimono out to a Japanese place in a strip mall..."
"Of course you should," he said, very sure of himself.
I replied, "I've been to this place before. They don't really stand on ceremony, and I wouldn't want them to be insulted... I don't know..."
He said, "What's the big problem? I want you to wear it. You won't do this for me?"
Something in his tone said, "Danger! Danger! Red alert!" and I carefully folded the kimono back into the box.
Choosing my next words carefully, I asked, "Maybe we could do something else? I'm just not too comfortable with this idea."
He grabbed the box away, muttered, "Should've known," and took off, just like that.
***********************************
Missed out. You could have looked like this.
24 comments:
OMG FIRST!!! WIN!
OMG SECOND!!! WIN!
I love how the authors sometimes post completely random details like that we was curly haired. It makes curly haired people sound insane :)
It's not a random detail. Every curly-haired guy I've ever dated eventually tried to get me to wear a kimono.
Really? My bad..
I have curly hair and I ALWAYS insist my date wears a kimono when we go out.
OMG SEVENTH!!! WIN!
True story: Every curly-haired guy I've ever dated/slept with has been an asshole, more so than the asshole straight-haired guys. I have curly hair, but I'm not really an asshole. Crazy, yes.
Also, Jared: LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE this link! More links to pictures of dogs! Maybe then people will stop beating you up about this new feature. ;D
Yeah, I've got curly hair and I'm definitely an asshole. For that matter, my whole family has curly hair and you've never seen such a pack of insane dick heads until you have been to one of our family reunions.
Seriously though, a kimono for is not a necessity for a good hibachi experience. All you need is some sweet shrimp sauce.
The dog was only wearing the kimono so it wouldn't end up as the next meal.
Wait a second...
OMG TENTH!!! WIN!
I also have curly hair. But I'm a good person. I don't even own any kimonos to loan out.
Then again, I'm typing this in blood while masturbating in vomit. And I write bad checks.
Someone has an unhealthy Asain fetish!
nomatophobia, you probably can't drive either. Got rice bitch?!
Everyone knows there's nothing unhealthy about an Asian fetish.
unless that asian fetish is japanese body pillows.
or tubgirl...
Wow are all you commentators 12? First!!! Lame.
No, but I am at least 18(th!)
LOL @ nomatophobia and Nikki!
^ "Everyone knows there's nothing unhealthy about an Asian fetish." -Nikki
... OMG this is the funniest thing I've ever read in my entire life!!
^ I'm sorry for you. ;) but thanks.
10:40 you slay me.
Arigato is spelled wrong.
It's an English transliteration of a Japanese word. Can it actually be spelled "right" in English?
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