Submitted by Mark:
Betsy messaged me on the Internet. Her profile made her sound like an off-the-wall party girl, and I had mostly outgrown that phase, but she was persistent, which was rare, and she seemed interested in me, which was also rare on any dating site. My logic was that if she saw enough in me to find common ground, then perhaps I was being too hasty by dismissing her. Why not, I figured, so we set something up.
We talked about the standard stuff: work, family hobbies, killer asteroids... wait, come again?
"It's true," she said, "A killer asteroid is going to hit us in 2014. I read all about it."
This was strange indeed. You'd have thought that we'd have heard about it by now.
She said, "No, no. The government can't let word about it get out, so they silence any astronomer who discovers it. It would create mass panic!"
I asked, "So how do you know about it?"
"I was told. It's going to smash into the ocean or Canada."
I grinned. "So nowhere important, then."
She said, "Make fun of me if you want to, but let's see you laugh when your hair's on fire."
This posed an interesting dilemma, and I posed it to her: "If the government silences everyone who knows about it, then how come you haven't been silenced? Or how come the person who told you about it hasn't been?"
She rolled her eyes. "Are you fucking retarded?" she asked, "They have to let some misinformation come out, otherwise everyone would know about it!"
"But how do you know that the 2014 thing isn't misinformation itself?"
She sighed. Sorry! You mention something crazy, you should EXPECT TO BE QUESTIONED ABOUT IT!
She said, "I have connections in the government, but that's all I can say."
"Is this information on the Internet?"
"Probably not. I don't know. I've said too much."
Well, what do you say to that? She seemed depressed and despondent for the rest of the date, really a big change from how she had acted before. When I asked her if everything was okay, she replied that it upset her how people "just didn't know about the asteroid threat," and that it was a heavy burden to bear.
A little too much of the crazies for me.
A FRIENDLY MESSAGE FROM JARED:
Top secret government links. Read at your own risk:
Submitted by Mark: